As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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