Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize