you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
