I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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