Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize