I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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