i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i think i just lost a toe
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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