it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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