I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
