I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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