were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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