We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
