covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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