i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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