TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
