If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He has the fingertips of a God
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