What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
