i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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