Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
wat bout pragnant strippers??
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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