Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
