He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
