I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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