I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
