Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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