and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
