I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
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I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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