a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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