That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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