I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
