Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Randomize
