I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
