My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
