i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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