he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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