evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
