i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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