Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
