very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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