Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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