i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
