So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we're making bets on your personal life
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
