Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
