I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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