Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
