I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We are all done wearing pants today
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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