Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My vagina just clenched in fear
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
