I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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