She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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