I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
