I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The best revenge is premature balding
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
