Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Girls should come with a carfax report
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
