I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
