So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
