her vagine was all disorganized.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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