oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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