69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
