sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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