im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
