I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize