even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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