i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
