there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The adults are the big ones right?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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