The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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