cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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