Your face is a jimmy john
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
